What I found is that it created a habit for me in exercise. Just showing up made me better.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘just show up.’ This phrase can be used in different context based on what one is trying to achieve. If I am throwing a party and need more people there, then yes, ‘just show up.’ Yet in this article the idea is focusing on ‘just showing up’ in life.
I learned this lesson when I was younger and there were days that I did not want to get up and run. Either I was carrying a slight injury, maybe tired, or maybe just flat out lazy. A friend of mine said “just show up. Just run a mile.” What I found is that it created a habit for me in exercise. Just showing up made me better.
In our lives with our families, ‘just show up’ carries much more importance. For our children at a recital or wanting to play in the park; JUST SHOW UP. For our kids when they ask about needing help with homework; JUST SHOW UP. For our spouses or significant others who want to talk or go for a walk; JUST SHOW UP.
In all cases, practice makes perfect. It starts today, however, as you need it for yourself and your family and friends need it from you! Get off of the sidelines and JUST SHOW UP!
Do you have get the idea that we are running in place? Think about the same arguments that continue to surface with different players, different topics, and different people over and over and over. How do we get to the point where we can rely on facts and not emotion or assertions?
In my view, the sooner that we are able to converse on facts and not on conjecture, the better in my view. Of course, we love to live in the grey area to ensure that we can get to our point. Yet, even the grey area allows for fact if it is well articulated.
This blog is not creating answers but certainly expecting you to analyze whether you work in facts, grey area with facts, grey area, conjecture, or emotion. Perhaps this alone can get clarity and move discussions, topics, and ideas forward.
How do you know?
How do you know how someone feels?
How do you know what someone is thinking?
How do you know whether you are doing a good or bad job?
How do you know whether or not you are an important member of the human race?
How do you know that your family and friends value you?
How do you know that you value yourself?
How do you know?
Keeping your core values and keeping your core friends and family in harmony.
Our ability to manage our internal compass that keeps us rationale with the irrational inputs from external sources is critical to communicating with those that we love and to be honest, those that may not be our favorite people. Certainly we are bombarded by the news, the news of the news, and the analysis of the news of the news. All of this can be daunting and centers on you to be assertive.
First, (1) how do you know your own core values and how do those core values drive your own life? (2) How much do your core values drive your conversations with family and friends? (3) How much does the external noise push the core values out in a more overt way from you to others? (4) Are your core values interfering with your relationships?
Each of the questions build on each other and may, or probably will, create increased tension with friends and family as your core values become overt. What does all of this mean? Truly, in my view, it means remaining balanced because we as individuals can and should control our own core values, maintain our core values, and maintain the relationships that we have with other people that may or may not share our core values.
When we talk about trust and faith in relationships, we truly are talking about the integrity that we bring to the conversation. If we only live in a pattern of being forthright and honest, we establish a pattern that creates its own momentum and the discussions move forward with little sideways momentum. Yet, if we offer ‘some’ trust and some ‘faith’, we are moving the relationship slowly or not at all.
Think about something as simple as setting up a meeting or a date with a loved one. If I hedge to committing time then I am offering only ‘some’ trust and ‘some’ faith. To offer all that I can offer I would better serve myself and the other person with a clear answer and clear direction. If it is something that I don’t want to do then I need to weigh the value of how the other person ranks it. If it is important for the other person, the trust, faith, and integrity will allow me to say ‘YES’ I will go. If it is something that I value low and the other person merely wants my company I have to weigh my personal pursuits to the OUR pursuits. Certainly MY time is important but so is OUR time.
This also brings us back to balance. If you are balanced then the requests should go both ways with equal congeniality and in many cases, Love. If the other person or I am hedging commitment, the trust, faith, and integrity of the relationship can erode or remain stagnant. Why not say yes and go!
Being in California we get to see the best and worst of prosperity and opportunity. The New York Times penned an article regarding the lack of housing to support the high housing prices in Los Angeles and the San Francisco Bay Area. This article mentioned homelessness as one of the defaults of this dilemma. One of the contributors to the article spoke of living in Manteca, California and having to travel 80 miles to the San Francisco Bay Area for her $180,000 nursing position. Some solutions that ALL Californians are capable of making:
- Move to the San Francisco Bay Area and decrease square footage and increase housing cost
- Find a nursing job in the California Central Valley that pays less but lessens commute and hopefully maintains the current lifestyle
- Find a nursing job out of state that lessens commute and lowers cost of living
- Retrain for a different position and increase eligibility and income locally
The economics are simple. If it costs too much to live in the community then the industry increases its income for these people to entice them to work far from their homes. Certainly we saw this with the high wages in North Dakota with the fracking.
Currently, the state government is working feverishly to solve this problem for workers to be closer to their jobs. How much will this current crisis be solved by the work of the state legislature in compelling local communities to create more housing in their neighborhoods? Is this a new problem? Has this happened since the beginning of mass transit and the industrial revolution?
Most importantly for this blogger is the impact of the decisions that those with big commutes make on that person’s family and friends. Is it worth it to chase the carrot and for how long?
If my life is a disaster I know that I will not be giving my best to my family and friends.
Certainly with the talk of family, forgiveness, and balance there needs to be focus on just us! How are we taking care of ourselves to ensure that we can be the best that we can be for others? This is the most important element from a grounded, personal perspective. If my life is a disaster I know that I will not be giving my best to my family and friends.
My life has five key areas to assist in balance; family, work, community, exercise, and faith and each one of these get my attention every week if not every day. I choose to go to bed earlier so I can wake up early to satisfy exercise and faith. As a Catholic, I enjoy daily mass as it gives me 1/2 hour of connection with my faith uninterrupted. My willingness to volunteer for the Boy Scouts or sports teams for my children allows me both exercise and community involvement so I am also meeting family needs as well. And certainly, we have work and that is a constant even if you are a stay at home mom or dad. Work is work but needs to be treated with the same importance as the other four.
This may sound obtuse considering work is so important. Yet, we have ONE life to live and we can never get that time back. Because of this, reflection is incredibly important to determine how we are doing with the five areas of personal satisfaction. I also realize that people place varying levels of importance on the five areas that I think are important. In fact, some may think some of the areas are absolutely unimportant. With that, I ask you to honestly ask yourself, “are you absolutely happy and satisfied?”
I would like to put a special plug about hitting the exercise in the morning. By doing this, I know that I will not be competing with the other four constants in my life in the afternoon or at night. There are plenty of bloggers and articles about the value of exercising in the morning to support this notion but from a practical perspective it works for me.
How can you achieve family, work, community, exercise, and faith every week? What can you do to change your routine so you can meet your needs and the needs of those around you?
Shoot me some ideas on how you are balancing your life.