…we invariably have balls fall!
How often do you hear someone say ‘too many balls in the air.’ Is it really true that we have too many balls in the air? Or, is it that we have the perfect amount of balls in the air and sometimes balls will be dropped as a reality in life? Either way we are juggling balls and not, say, eggs or cell phones so if they fall they don’t break!
If we are fully committed to our families, our communities, our work, and our friends then we will invariably have balls fall. What we have to do is be prepared mentally for this. The you think you can plan for everything then you will be in for a real surprise. I think the headlines in the paper and leading stories on the news illustrate that we can plan but it does not mean that we can have every variable covered.
Yes, balls will hit the ground that we throw up, our spouses toss up, our children heave ho, and so on. Now we have all kinds of balls hitting the ground. It is a juggling nightmare. Yet, we still have some balls up and we are still in the game for those that we care about. It is not the fact that balls are dropping. Rather, are the balls that matter the least dropping. Or, if it is an important ball, figure out how to pick up the right balls.
Forgive yourself early and often if you drop a ball. Each ball dropped is an opportunity to pick up another one and figure out how to keep it in the air. Juggle away. Why not?
What I found is that it created a habit for me in exercise. Just showing up made me better.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘just show up.’ This phrase can be used in different context based on what one is trying to achieve. If I am throwing a party and need more people there, then yes, ‘just show up.’ Yet in this article the idea is focusing on ‘just showing up’ in life.
I learned this lesson when I was younger and there were days that I did not want to get up and run. Either I was carrying a slight injury, maybe tired, or maybe just flat out lazy. A friend of mine said “just show up. Just run a mile.” What I found is that it created a habit for me in exercise. Just showing up made me better.
In our lives with our families, ‘just show up’ carries much more importance. For our children at a recital or wanting to play in the park; JUST SHOW UP. For our kids when they ask about needing help with homework; JUST SHOW UP. For our spouses or significant others who want to talk or go for a walk; JUST SHOW UP.
In all cases, practice makes perfect. It starts today, however, as you need it for yourself and your family and friends need it from you! Get off of the sidelines and JUST SHOW UP!
Keeping your core values and keeping your core friends and family in harmony.
Our ability to manage our internal compass that keeps us rationale with the irrational inputs from external sources is critical to communicating with those that we love and to be honest, those that may not be our favorite people. Certainly we are bombarded by the news, the news of the news, and the analysis of the news of the news. All of this can be daunting and centers on you to be assertive.
First, (1) how do you know your own core values and how do those core values drive your own life? (2) How much do your core values drive your conversations with family and friends? (3) How much does the external noise push the core values out in a more overt way from you to others? (4) Are your core values interfering with your relationships?
Each of the questions build on each other and may, or probably will, create increased tension with friends and family as your core values become overt. What does all of this mean? Truly, in my view, it means remaining balanced because we as individuals can and should control our own core values, maintain our core values, and maintain the relationships that we have with other people that may or may not share our core values.
Forgiveness seems to be a difficult proposition for people. The idea that my feelings are so important that I am unable to forgive someone is quite a proposition. If I am unable to forgive someone is it a relationship that I don’t value? Is it a relationship that I don’t think will last even if I do forgive? Do either of these notions matter?
Perhaps I am steeped in biblical references to forgiveness. Setting my chin like flint when I am struck. Turning the other cheek to allow the person to strike me again. This seems so Roman Empire but in fact it happens even today. It is so easy to forgive those that we love but how about forgiving those that we do not love. Forgiving workmates, classmates, neighbors, or friends?
Forgiveness is the secret sauce to a successful relationship. If you can forgive then you can maintain the high ground established thousands of years ago. If you can’t forgive how do you feel? If you can’t forgive how will you cope?
Can you think of someone that you should forgive? In my view, forgiveness will only increase your positive attitude and improve the bad feelings.