…we invariably have balls fall!
How often do you hear someone say ‘too many balls in the air.’ Is it really true that we have too many balls in the air? Or, is it that we have the perfect amount of balls in the air and sometimes balls will be dropped as a reality in life? Either way we are juggling balls and not, say, eggs or cell phones so if they fall they don’t break!
If we are fully committed to our families, our communities, our work, and our friends then we will invariably have balls fall. What we have to do is be prepared mentally for this. The you think you can plan for everything then you will be in for a real surprise. I think the headlines in the paper and leading stories on the news illustrate that we can plan but it does not mean that we can have every variable covered.
Yes, balls will hit the ground that we throw up, our spouses toss up, our children heave ho, and so on. Now we have all kinds of balls hitting the ground. It is a juggling nightmare. Yet, we still have some balls up and we are still in the game for those that we care about. It is not the fact that balls are dropping. Rather, are the balls that matter the least dropping. Or, if it is an important ball, figure out how to pick up the right balls.
Forgive yourself early and often if you drop a ball. Each ball dropped is an opportunity to pick up another one and figure out how to keep it in the air. Juggle away. Why not?
What I found is that it created a habit for me in exercise. Just showing up made me better.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘just show up.’ This phrase can be used in different context based on what one is trying to achieve. If I am throwing a party and need more people there, then yes, ‘just show up.’ Yet in this article the idea is focusing on ‘just showing up’ in life.
I learned this lesson when I was younger and there were days that I did not want to get up and run. Either I was carrying a slight injury, maybe tired, or maybe just flat out lazy. A friend of mine said “just show up. Just run a mile.” What I found is that it created a habit for me in exercise. Just showing up made me better.
In our lives with our families, ‘just show up’ carries much more importance. For our children at a recital or wanting to play in the park; JUST SHOW UP. For our kids when they ask about needing help with homework; JUST SHOW UP. For our spouses or significant others who want to talk or go for a walk; JUST SHOW UP.
In all cases, practice makes perfect. It starts today, however, as you need it for yourself and your family and friends need it from you! Get off of the sidelines and JUST SHOW UP!
Is my plate too full or is your plate too empty?
How often do we hear ‘My plate is too full.” Why would someone think that? Certainly I think it when the many activities converge in the same time span. No doubt, this happens and certainly the plate being full applies. Yet, if this is a regular occurrence then perhaps it is an issue with balance and planning.
For instance, I am involved in work at our charter school organization, a father and husband, a volunteer in local organizations, an assistant scoutmaster, and occasionally a coach. Certainly any one of these could completely consume my time if I allowed it.
Yet, rather than let any one area consume my time, I balance my talents between all of them with the ebb and flow that the schedule and events occur. In Scouts I realized that I wanted to be most involved with high adventure so I backed off of the other activities. Similarly, I realized that I committed to assistant coaching to ensure that the players had a reliable head coach. With my family, I make sure that I have time every day to listen to my children individually. Of course this gets harder as they get older (teenagers:)!
So then the question is whether my plate is too full? Or, should the question be whether your plate is too empty?
It seems that we have very serious business to tend to everyday! No doubt, it is important to meet our obligations with fidelity. Yet, is everything you do everyday that important? Is everything you do require an ‘A’ priority? If not, then begin to think about how you are able to squeeze in the joy of living and not just the work of living. It is easy to get hung up on the details but know that those details will be there later today, tomorrow, and even the next day.
The more we are able to pace ourselves the better. I have some simple steps to help you balance your day:
- Prioritize what you know makes you satisfied or happy first and if it is first thing in the morning that will make you even more satisfied for the day.
- Be sure to have a solid plan for the next two days including family obligations, work obligations, and community obligations and be sure those that need to know know!
- Smile more and greet as many people as you can as they may help you with your obligations.
- Continue planning ahead.
Have Fun because you will always Have Work!
Keeping your core values and keeping your core friends and family in harmony.
Our ability to manage our internal compass that keeps us rationale with the irrational inputs from external sources is critical to communicating with those that we love and to be honest, those that may not be our favorite people. Certainly we are bombarded by the news, the news of the news, and the analysis of the news of the news. All of this can be daunting and centers on you to be assertive.
First, (1) how do you know your own core values and how do those core values drive your own life? (2) How much do your core values drive your conversations with family and friends? (3) How much does the external noise push the core values out in a more overt way from you to others? (4) Are your core values interfering with your relationships?
Each of the questions build on each other and may, or probably will, create increased tension with friends and family as your core values become overt. What does all of this mean? Truly, in my view, it means remaining balanced because we as individuals can and should control our own core values, maintain our core values, and maintain the relationships that we have with other people that may or may not share our core values.
Helping those that can’t help themselves.
Yesterday I attended the Homeless Assistance Resource Team (HART) and affirmed what I already knew; people in America are the backbone of our community. This wonderful group of people clearly have a goal for the homeless in our community focusing on dignity rather than moving the problem to the next community. The committee leaders spoke of homeless families, housing opportunities, and logistical improvements all in the name of humanity. I am proud to associate with the members of HART and look forward to supporting the homeless and those supporting the homeless for years to come.
If we focus on the least of our community, how great will our community become? If we demonstrate compassion will others follow? I say yes!
When we talk about trust and faith in relationships, we truly are talking about the integrity that we bring to the conversation. If we only live in a pattern of being forthright and honest, we establish a pattern that creates its own momentum and the discussions move forward with little sideways momentum. Yet, if we offer ‘some’ trust and some ‘faith’, we are moving the relationship slowly or not at all.
Think about something as simple as setting up a meeting or a date with a loved one. If I hedge to committing time then I am offering only ‘some’ trust and ‘some’ faith. To offer all that I can offer I would better serve myself and the other person with a clear answer and clear direction. If it is something that I don’t want to do then I need to weigh the value of how the other person ranks it. If it is important for the other person, the trust, faith, and integrity will allow me to say ‘YES’ I will go. If it is something that I value low and the other person merely wants my company I have to weigh my personal pursuits to the OUR pursuits. Certainly MY time is important but so is OUR time.
This also brings us back to balance. If you are balanced then the requests should go both ways with equal congeniality and in many cases, Love. If the other person or I am hedging commitment, the trust, faith, and integrity of the relationship can erode or remain stagnant. Why not say yes and go!